'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the dark, Not a creature was stirring, except for the shark.
The stocking were hung by the chimney with care, But unfortunately Christmas was canceled that year.
Perhaps 'cause the temperature had gotten too toasty Or perhaps 'cause the Christmas ghosts had gotten too ghosty.
But I heard, as a Netflix special started to play, Hey, check out my dreidel, it's made out of clay.
Imagine, if you dare, your greatest fear. Perhaps it’s a café that’s actually a NPR show. Or it may be a mermaid stockpiling nuclear weapons. Or a magical talking gym bag, an electrified tenor, or a lengthy download untimely interrupted. The mere thought of such terrors could understandably drive you to hid in your neighbor’s refrigerator; your only solace being the knowledge that such things are only possible in… The Mysterious Dimension.
Read MoreRemember back when you'd go to your friend's house after school and play video games for hours and eat junk food and not worry about the giant nearby volcano threatening to erupt? Where have the years gone? Are they in some lost city? Perhaps out in the vast reaches of space, that final frontier... all I know is my conscience wants me to give my custom character more hair.
Read MoreWhat you see isn't always what you get. For instance, that peanut butter and spaghetti sandwich may actually be a chocolate vase. But hey, if someone offers you a free sample, why not try it? Remember in 2006 when everyone was shaking soda cans and eating green eggs? I don't, but then again, I'm not a superhero like SuperHeroMan.
Read MoreEpisode 10, "Batman Salad." Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na Na-na-na-na-na-na-na SALAAAAAD!
Read MoreWhat’s the secret of my success? Well, it all goes back to this one time I pitched an idea for a Baby TV network about Baristas who lived under my bed. It was such a hit, it started a revolution! But I digress.... or do I?
Read MoreSummer’s here! And that means it’s back! My third, jelly-averse personality, that is. But relax, as long as you’re gellin’, it’s only a matter of time before you win American Ninja Warrior and are rolling in that guacamole money!
Read MoreWho is that mysterious apparition haunting the Paris Opera House? And why does he never tip? What a rude rudy! As any lawyer who was recently a cow will tell you, if you don't tip, you'll be scolded over the phone small discrepancies. That's all the announcements, now the enjoy the show!
Read MoreWhat an age we live in; there are videos on the internet of baby animals so cute, not even Batman can resist, phones can do so many things... including feel unimaginable pain, and have you tried the cheesecake at Mindy's? Have you? HAVE YOU?
Read MoreDo you like sand? I mean, do you really like sand? Well then you'll love this episode! Have a mediocre time with Mr. Lincoln, find out if Terry Gross every gets around to interviewing her guest, and witness one of the most famous tragic steam train sinkings in history. And if you didn't used to fear napkins mysteriously appearing in your pockets, you will now.
Read MoreCan Neo and Trinity save Morpheus from the Agents? Neo faces the ultimate test to find out if he is The One... or if he just likes making sound effects with his mouth. ALSO!!! Every wonder how a sketch gets written? Hear the backstory of how the idea for this sketch went from a voice memo recorded while driving to the final product!
Read MoreListen closely for more audio sketch comedy, but not too close or you may be hit by a charging rhino, accosted by every manager ever, or interrogated by the Empire. Who knows? Even if you're not The One for me, I'll always keep a special place for you in my heart, because my love is, in a VERY literal sense, like the ocean.
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